OCupid

Welcome back to Oberlin’s favorite (only) relatable dating advice column (without a doctorate)! Before getting into the advice for the week, we’ve gotten some great questions from our wonderful readers. Let’s dig in!

From Distraught in Dascomb: I’ve been talking to this guy for a few weeks now, gone on two dates, things have felt good so far, but I was wondering how long should I wait for him to make things official? 

OC: Alex, what is a situationship for $500? First, maybe try to talk to his friends, see what they think of it. They might have some good insight into how he feels. But my best advice? Try to beat him at his own game. If he doesn’t wanna commit, go out of your way to talk to other guys, keep a roster, all that jazz. Show him what he’s missing out on. If he doesn’t ask you out after the first date, he hates you. Keep that in mind. What else could he be doing, talking to other people? Hope this helps!

From OSCA Alone: How can I meet more people? I’ve tried going to parties and joining clubs but it’s been really hard. Thanks!

OC: Have you tried picking up smoking? Seems to work wonders. 

From Tappan Square Sally: Help! My GF asked me last week if we could open up our relationship, but I don’t know how to feel. Any advice? 

OC: Ah yes, a classic conundrum on campus. My personal diagnosis is to escalate things even further. Suggest you go on a break, y'know just to experiment a little. Don’t worry, you guys can get back together. Or even better, remember what I always say? Ghost, ghost, ghost! Foolproof method. Thank you for the question, hope this helps.

From AJLC Anon: I think my partner is using me for inspiration for their creative writing class. Is that creepy?

OC: Depends on the context. Are they writing poems? If so, carry on! Who doesn’t like a cute sonnet or lyric poem professing love. I would suggest you take a look at what they’ve been writing. Email their prof or someone in class and ask to see an example of a piece. From there, you can gauge what’s going on. Happy hunting! 

And finally, our Do’s and Don’ts of the week: 

Do:

Next time you go to Azzies, grab your crush’s drink for them. And then when they come by looking for it, you can be the hero and hand it to them! Guaranteed to work everytime. 

Get really drunk and drag all of your friends to a party just to look for your crush, and then when they inevitably aren’t there, get really acquainted with your weather app! Fun for the whole family!

Find out when your crush’s next performance is and make sure to sit front row. Extra points if you don’t blink once. 

Don’t:

Pull them aside and have an honest conversation about your feelings. C’mon that’s no fun. Where’s the thrill, the je ne sais quoi, the pizzazz. It’s 2024. If you’re not playing games, give up now. 

Ask their mutual friends to meddle. This one isn’t even a joke, that’s really creepy! Not gonna name names, but that’s just a recipe to get made fun of and gossiped about. Again, not gonna name any names, because that would be a HIPAA violation, but do not reach out to their friends and ask them to put in a good word for you. I have heard from anonymous sources that this isn’t a viable method and will not work. 

If you have any feedback or want the chance to have your own question answered right here in this column, call us toll free at (551) - 777 - 1607