What I Learned in My Week Without a Phone

Ellen E

Illustration by Nat B-S

On Monday, September 9th, 2024, my worst fear came true. For a few months, my phone had been difficult to charge. I had to hold the phone a certain way, and plug the charging cable in a certain way, and unless everything was done in this very certain way, my phone would not charge. And on this particular Monday, I had been having a great day. And then my phone got to 20% and refused to charge. I watched as the numbers by the battery slowly ticked down, and finally it happened. My phone completely died. I was left stranded. This is how I coped with not having my phone for the week.

Day 1: The Stages of Grief

Panic. 

Denial.

Anger.

Depression.

Bargaining.

Stress.

Fear.

I am a youth. A Gen Z-er. Nevermind that I remember the days of my parents having flip phones and watching VHS tapes. My phone is glued to my hand (but that’s another story about the dangers of superglue). I quickly work to figure out a way around my dilemma. It hits me. My computer! That’s like a phone, but big! And it has all my usual ways of communicating; email, iMessages, Discord, and passive-aggressive Spotify playlists. Phew. I am saved from total despair. But can it last the week?

Day 2: Searching for Solutions

There has to be a way to save my beautiful, darling phone. Plus, it wasn’t only the phone at stake. What about all my screenshots of stupid memes that I meant to send to my friends and then forgot? If my phone never charges again, I could lose those forever! So I head to the CIT in the library. And that fateful information desk turned out to be the beginning of a harried scavenger hunt.

CIT was unable to help me. So they sent me to Computer Systems Unlimited.

The guy at Computer Systems Unlimited was unable to help me. So he suggested I get a wireless charger.

I checked Ben Franklin for a wireless charger. They didn’t have them.

I checked the bookstore for a wireless charger. They didn’t have them.

I ordered a charger off Amazon. It said it wouldn’t be delivered until Monday.

This truly is my destiny for the week.

Day 3: Who Says You Have to Be On Time Anyways?

Why show up to your 11:00 class at 11:00? Why not be so worried about your watch not having a loud enough alarm that you don’t sleep well and wake up at 8:00 and get so confused about what time your class is that you show up to it an hour early even though you can look at Google Calendar on your computer? Why not be super judgemental of the class before yours for going over time, then realize that you’re an hour early and that class is fine? Why not do that twice in the same week?

Day 4: I Can Feel My Brain Chemistry Changing

It had been a few days without my phone, and somehow, unbelievably, I was still alive. It feels like a miracle. But soon I realize it is not a miracle; it is the natural way of life. Deprived of the toxic wavelengths of the cellular phone, I am able to connect to my ancestors through the eons of history. I realize that this is how they lived for generations. Their knowledge fills my skull. If they could make it through long days in September without TikTok videos about herding pigs and games filled with scammy ads, maybe I could do it too. I feel myself filled with the urge to make cave paintings and say Ooga Booga.

Day 5: Enlightenment

I understand all now. Enlightenment. Nirvana. The meaning of life. Whatever you want to call it. We are all connected, even without the Internet. When I accidentally make eye contact with someone as I walk by them on the sidewalk and hurriedly look away, that’s connection. A John Williams score plays in my head. Maybe it’s my imagination, or maybe my brain has developed the ability to pick up on radio signals. Who knows? I do. Because I am God.

Day 6: The Light at the End of the Tunnel

My time without a phone comes to an earlier than expected end. My Amazon package arrives early (I’m so glad Amazon workers pee in water bottles) and I am able to get the long-awaited wireless charger. But will it work? I wait with bated breath. 

Yes! It works! The suffering is over! Within the hour, my parents call me to ask me to tell them the code that was sent to me in a text message so they can log into something, or whatever. I don’t know, I’m not paying attention.

And even though I can feel my newly gained intelligence slipping away, I am glad to return to the simple life of my phone. I can rest easy, knowing that I can be startled by a notification for Czech trams from PID Lítačka at any time of day.