Oberlin Cribs

by Cat G

Oberlin is a school primarily populated by idiosyncratic aesthetes, tasteful slobs and highly opinionated homosexuals. Consequently, even before embarking on my journey to see the sickest Oberlin Cribs™ I knew that I would find some gems. In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll admit that my dorm room looks like it belongs on r/malelivingspace; aside from a smattering of photographs taped above my bed (sorry Res Life) the only things “decorating” my room are crumpled papers, piles of laundry and really grimy weed paraphilia (I’m joking Res Life). In spite of this, I’m a sucker for kitschy, weird, and/or meticulously curated spaces, and have subsequently set out to find the cream of the crop here on campus. 

Loretta and Ani

Loretta Wilson: I'm Loretta. Okay, I'll start on my side… we have poster central and some cards. They all came from different places, which is kind of cool. Some of them are kind of stupid, like the “I Heart My Sugar Daddy” poster, and some of them are screen prints from my friends who were in screen printing last year. Then, I’m displaying my amazing shoes, because I think they're really cool.  And [we have] our little food and drink cart here. [I also have] these knickknacks, if you want to come look. It’s just kind of random stuff that I've collected. Actually this, I got this [porcelain statue] today because it was a birthday present from my brother.

CG: [gesturing towards photo of Lin Manuel Miranda] I like the Lin Manuel Miranda pic.

LW: Oh, thank you!  That was a Christmas present from one of my friends, she photoshopped me [in a picture] with Lin Manuel Miranda. I don't know why, but [it’s] pretty silly stuff. And then we have the bed/window area, which I think is the best part of the room. It's so pretty, and I got some twinkle lights. Oh, wait, this is actually really awesome…It's the chicken lamp, which is my favorite. Um… oh, my clown face! I don't know, I'm really liking the ceramic clown vibe, and we found a bunch of this stuff at a thrift store, so that was pretty cool. And then, this is the dresser area. 

Ani Adell: This is like our shared [space]. We combined our dressers, so we have all of our jewelry here. And above that is our projector screen, which we bring that out to have movie nights. We both have a little jewelry holder that's also like a mannequin. 

LW: Like a little lady.  Oh, this one's cool. This is a teapot that looks like a nightstand or dresser that opens up. It's really cool and apparently it's a collector's item, which I found out after I bought it.

AA: Yeah, we have a lot of things that look like other things but are still functional. So like… oh, the purse!  

LW: There are actually a lot of purses.  

AA: Yeah, here's my corset top purse that holds my makeup. Loretta gave that to me. This purse is our candleholder. This is my jewelry holder, that also looks like a tiny closet. There’s a tiny teacup that has a little house inside of it and a tiny shoe that holds my rings. We also love to disguise some of our uglier stuff, so that's why I put all my ugly stuff in the purse. [Above my bed I have] a big piece of fabric that I made into a curtain, so I can kind of choose how much like, light comes in. [This space] is my desk area. [I have] lot of random things on the wall, a lot of New Yorker covers. Over here I have more purses. Here's my tiny bathtub that I put my tiny little chickens in, and my tiny little books.  And then here's my clown… another purse, another purse, another purse. Also a lot of our random crafts are things that we both made at the Art Library craft nights. Here's my [papier-mâché] mask. 

LW: Plug it! 

AA: [There’s] a bunch of random jewelry. We have a lot of little umbrellas everywhere… my tiny basket.  Here's my stack of puzzles and books.We have a little bowl of snacks here too for people who want them.

LW: I wish we could showcase the magnets that are on the fridge, but they're kind of hidden by the couch. There are some really great magnets on there.  

AA: [This one says] “My Mom Likes Drinking Wine.”  

LW: My favorite is the one that says “This Salad Tastes Like I'd Rather Be Fat.” 

AA: And there are a bunch of little things that we kind of just have around the room, like that little house next to our TV. Here's my sock puppet. 

LW: We both have sock puppets.  On crazy nights, we'll dress them up with all of the other things that we have around here. 

CG: Are they friends or enemies?  

AA: We don't let them talk to each other. 

LW: Yeah, we haven't even found that out yet.

AA: We make them sit on opposite sides of the room. Our masks on the other hand… they got a little too friendly with each other. 

LW: There are a lot of little boxes for trinkets. 

AA: Yeah, exactly.

CG: It's very cool how you've made a lot of the Wine Mom “Live, Laugh, Love” stuff kind of chic. I think it’s really subversive.

LW: “If you don't like my cooking, have another glass of wine!”  

Loren

Loren Carter: I'm Loren. I use she/her pronouns, and I'm a fourth year from Indiana. This is my room! So I have these little wind chimes that I really like. They have a bunch of little cherubs on them that wear little crowns. Sometimes I do knock into them when I'm going through my closet and they make a bunch of noise, which is kind of annoying, but I like how they look. I got them from a thrift store at the beach. My parents hate it when we come to school because they bang [against] literally everything. I have this little picture that I made of my freshman year roommate and I before I met her. I told her to send me a picture of herself, and she was like, “yeah, okay,” and then I took a picture of myself and I photoshopped us together with a living room background. 

CG: That’s insane.

LC: I printed it out and when we moved in we hung it on the wall. I still have it up like all the time, because I love it. Then I have…I just collect all of the shit that I've ever had because I'm a hoarder and then somehow I find a way to chuck it on my wall. I don't even know how long I've had… there's stuff from Pride. I went to Ireland over the summer and I got my parents a tiny [replica] of the town I was in, and so I took the [packaging] from it put it on my wall. I took this [print] from my old boss's office in the library because she was just getting rid of a bunch of shit. And there’s this laminated leaf, which is so beautiful, obviously. Um…here’s a puzzle that I Mod-Podged with my housemates last year the first week we lived together. It was kind of a conglomeration of people…I was living with two men. 

CG: Harrowing

LC: I have a little picture [of myself] from freshman year…that was me in Fairchild, I lived in Fairchild. 

CG: I also lived in Fairchild. I was a second floor warrior. 

LC: I was a third floor warrior. 

CG: Oh no.

LC: Uh, what the fuck else?  Oh, there are some miscellaneous posters from the poster sale.  My acquaintance Lucas made that [collage], which I thought was fun. And my friend Avery made me this Valentine's Day card at one of the Valentine's events they had last year. Oh, God, what else?  Sorry, I have so much shit., it’s unbelievable. I stole a CupcakKe poster. I'm really big into pink and girly shit right now, so here's this Goodwill painting I got that has glitter on it. My mom crocheted me this jewelry hanger. Umm…my landlord still owes me a cover for this light but, he's… he doesn't do anything wrong, he's awesome. [I have this] cat painting that I got from a flea market in Indiana. There’s a bunch of Irish shit, like postcards that I got from different thrift stores. I’ve got my big-ass Korn poster. I have a unicorn print with my name on it that I got from…oh my god, there’s this festival in Indiana called the Covered Bridge Festival, cause there are like 30 covered bridges. When I go home for fall break…I call it the conservative Makers Market, because it's basically a Makers Market, but with Trump shit everywhere, and it's so alarming. There are guns and knives, and you're like, oh my god! But they made a poster with my name and a unicorn background, and it was five dollars, so that's up there. That's pretty much it, but then I have just a shit ton of rocks Oh my god wait, I'll show you, this is cool. I don't know if you're squeamish at all, but these are teeth, like Medieval teeth. 

CG: Woah.

LC: This is like a sheep's tooth, you can touch it if you want. And this is probably like another sheep one.

CG: This is crazy, it almost feels like a shell or something. 

LC: I know! I was in Ireland for the summer at an archaeological dig, so this is shit I have [from there], like the shells and stuff. And I wasn't supposed to do this, but I stole a piece of glass from the dig, so this is from a castle, and that is for me. I also have some miscellaneous rocks from that shit. What else? I have Perler beads that my summer campers made me two years ago, they're awesome. And these are drawings my summer campers made me. One of them is… oh my god, so this kid…there was a really bad storm, and I remember she was like, “what's going on?” and I was like “oh, mother nature's just upset.” And I worked at a Christian summer camp, but I wasn't like teaching them the Bible or anything because'm not actually religious. So she was like “I thought that God controlled the weather,” and I was like, “well Mother Nature and God are best friends,” so she drew Mother Nature holding a heart with God in the middle of it. I thought it was super sweet because she was like six. I guess this is like the last corner?  It's maybe the weirdest one. I found this catalogue of wedding dresses at a thrift store in Dublin, and it was like two Euros for ten pictures, and I was like “fuck yeah,” so I got all of these. They are the hardest to explain to people. They're like, “are you get married?” and I'm like, “no, no, no.” I just think they're beautiful. I got this little hummingbird thing from Olvera Street in California with my friend Sam who lives in LA. But yeah, this is my room! 

Z (and Felix!)

Z Gutierrez: I’m Z Gutierrez, I use he/they pronouns, I'm a third year environmental studies major and I live in Talcott! I'll start with my front door just because it's kind of my collage space. I collect cool clippings I see in the Grape and I have the rugby nude calendar. [I like to put up] little things people have given me, so I have some [drawings] from my students. If you move to the right, you can tell that I'm a big anime fan. I have [posters for] “Jujutsu Kaisen,” “Hunter x Hunter,” “Dr. Stone,” “Yuri on Ice,” all that stuff. I also have all my shoes, just cause I like to take off my shoes as soon as I come in my room. Then there’s the ceiling! I have flags…I have my ace flag, my Ecuadorian flag, my gay pride flag, my Mexican flag and my transgender flag. There’s a little bit more collage stuff just cause I ran out of space on my door, and then I have some Halloween decorations because October just passed, so I’m still in spooky season. I have all my cooking and cleaning supplies [under my bed], along with my OBurlesque and drag stuff. I have most of my clothes in these really big wagons that I got my freshman year. Then there’s my desk… it's a little chaotic right now. I have jewelry, random pencils, a mirror, a Beatles puzzle, geology stuff… this is Felix's side. There’s a cool butterfly poster, Hello Kitty… A sign that says “Sleepy Orange” that Felix stole from Connect Cleveland. We have this sun and moon tapestry that we got from the free store, so that’s a super cool find. We have hot Cheetos, mac and cheese, popcorn, Nutella…all the staples.  Oh, and we have a Picasso that we got from art rental! 

CG: That's so crazy. 

ZG: I didn't know it was a Picasso when I picked it, I was like, “oh, cool, I like goats!” So when I grabbed it, the woman at the Allen was like, “wow, you grabbed a Picasso!” and I was like, “wait, what?” 

CG: I like that it’s hung right next to your anime posters.

ZG: I have more costumes and cosplay stuff. I have a lot of umbrellas. Oh, and this is our closet. 

CG: I was gonna say, I'm fascinated by the “Bat Cave.”

ZG: We hung up a sign with a very long quote from the Lego Batman Movie, which I'm not going to read because that would be ridiculous. There’s Jeff, the unicorn. I recently used him in an OBurlesque act. There are more anime posters. I have a lot of hats, so these are all my hats. I'm a hat person. I also have a lot of bags. And then we had a lot of space in here, so I wanted to make a cozy little area. We have a little library and a lot of stuffed animals and a fuzzy chair. Here are all my art supplies that I hide from myself so that I don't constantly start crafting; I have to hide it behind that drapery. And then there’s a blanket that I turned into a a carpet. I use this space a lot for my prospies.

CG: Prospies are relegated to the Bat Cave. 

ZG: Sorry prospies. That’s about it…oh wait, I have to show you the trash can! I painted it because it previously said that it was property of an academic building, and I stole it…allegedly. 

CG: Allegedly.