Oberlin Missed Connections

By: Ellis Liebeskind-Blaufarb

I saw you at a Hark party…

You fit the whole bottle of poppers up your nose, I don’t even know how it fit? Anyway, you were beautiful. You even had a mullet that matched mine. Touch mullets with me? 

We met at contact improv.

The way you formed a ball of invisible energy in your hands and mimed throwing it to me was captivating. You are a true actor. If we had babies we could teach them contact improv. 

Strawberry PopTarts

You were buying strawberry PopTarts at Decafe. Two tarts for one meal swipe. You were so stunning I almost dropped my tofu Umami bowl with spicy teriyaki sauce. Give me a chance and I would feed you PopTarts every day. 

- The guy who almost tripped in front of you

9:30 AM outside of King…

You: brunette, short, she/they vibe, Doc Martin Mary Janes, baby tee probably from the kid’s section of Goodwill.

Me: tall, blonde, student athlete, homophobic features, ZYN addiction. 

Could it ever work? I miss you