5 Best and 5 Worst Names in theHouse of Representative

Max M

Want to get informed about the upcoming election? Well, you’re in the wrong place. But I would love to make you aware of the best - and worst - names in the House. I couldn’t tell you a thing about these people or their policies but a good name is bipartisan and undeniable.Good

Lisa Blunt Rochester - (D) Delaware

This is the type of name that fits a legendary lawyer on an ABC drama. Not a wasted syllable. Every word is perfect. Lisa? Great lawyer name. Blunt? She’s to the point. Rochester? Um… maybe she’s from upstate New York?

Marianette Miller-Meeks - (R) Iowa

Come on. I mean the alliteration is just to DIE for. The only issue: “Marianette” implies a certain level of corporate puppetry that makes me a little uneasy.

Dutch Ruppersberger - (D) Maryland

You walk into Culver’s, surveying the menu carefully. After some brief searching, your eyes land on the perfect dish. A Dutch Ruppersberger. I mean what a delectable-sounding name. I need it.

Mary Gay Scanlon - (D) Pennsylvania

This is unrelated but I imagine she looks very fetching in a big sun hat. Would love to be next to her at a hotel pool sipping a mimosa.

Lloyd Doggett - (D) Texas

Sometimes you need a guy that just straight Doggs it. That’s Lloyd for you. He’s your classic Dog. Look at his eyes. His ears. His mouth. His luscious locks. I want him bad.Bad

Debbie Dingell - (D) Michigan

I don’t know about you, but my mind immediately jumps to Debbie Dingellberry. There’s nothing clever here. But like. That’s so unfortunate. Debbie Dingellberry. 

Barry Loudermilk - (R) Georgia

The only time my milk is louder is when it comes out the other end! Ha! I have really bad stomach issues.

Ed Case - (D) Hawaii

God. Imagine being named Head Case. Just embarrassing. Have some dignity and go by Edward. 

Dusty Johnson - (R) South Dakota

Sometimes, you go through a dry spell. It seems like this representative’s phallus hasn’t been used in a while. It’s okay, Dusty. Hoping you brush off the cobwebs soon.

Andy Ogles - (R) Tennessee

The eyes say it all. Of course Andy ogles. Look at that smirk. What a creep. Stupid face and stupid name.